Today's devotional comes from JobSeekers of Peachtree City
"Helping People Find Good Jobs, Close to Home, in Minimum Time"
Get out and about. Come to JobSeekers this week. Bring a friend.
If you're not looking, forward this message to someone who needs it.
In This Issue
1. Inspiration: Get Rid of All Bitterness, Rage and Anger
2. Success Story: Bock Comes in Second in 2006; First in 2010
3. This Week's Meeting: Winning Networking Appointments
4. Networking: ABC from 10:15 to 11:30
5. Job Leads: Leads and Links in South Metro Atlanta
6. Contact: Chaplain and Ship's Crew
7. Donate: You Could Help Save a Career, a Home or Even a Marriage
JobSeekers of PTC Website | JobSeekers of PTC on LinkedIn
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1. Inspiration: Get Rid of All Bitterness, Rage and Anger
Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. -- Ephesians 4:31-32
A few of years ago I was walking across the parking lot of the Atlanta Bread Company for the informal networking session we have after each JobSeekers meeting. I came face-to-face with another JobSeeker in the traffic lane right in front of the coffee shop. I don't remember how the conversation started, but it quickly turned to how poorly his former employer had treated him.
He was seething with anger. You could see it in his eyes, you could hear it in his voice, you could see it as his skin turned red and the veins in his neck popped out.
I had to say something.
One of the reference books I use, Speaking the Truth in Love: How to be an Assertive Christian, says that if you see something that is holding someone back and don't say anything, then your silence is a form of lying. So I said, "Friend, I see something that is standing between you and a new job, and if I didn't tell you about it, that would be just as bad as lying to you. May a share it with you?" Of course he said I could. "Friend, your anger is standing between you and a new job. I can see it. Employers can see it. Until you get rid of your anger, you're going to have a hard time finding a job."
"ANGRY? I'M NOT ANGRY!" He squared up his body and clinched his fists as he said it.
I gently restated my concern. He backtracked and said that he did feel some bitterness, but he was sharing his anger with me in my role as a career coach. I saw where he was coming from and we walked into the ABC a few minutes later.
Within days, and for two years after that, several people said to me, "I saw your friend at Publix the other day, and boy, was he angry." This fellow was tormented by anger not only for two years; when I first met him it had already been eight years since they let him go! My friend had a 200-pound chip on his shoulder for 10 years.
Our Chaplain, Reverend Howard Tisdale, says that when you harbor resentment toward your former employer, it comes out obliquely. In other words, your anger betrays you and hurts your chances of winning a job. No matter how hard you try to hide it, it seeps out in ways that you might not sense, but to employers, it's as plain as your flaring nostrils and dilated pupils.
I've described an extreme case, but I see anger impacting job search frequently. Oftentimes, the anger is directed at a former employer. Sometimes the anger is about something else, but it still impacts job search. Christian relationship expert Gary Smalley says anger is usually the result of one of three things: hurt, fear or frustration. For a job seeker, for instance, it might be hurt that you were let go, fear of losing your house, or frustration that you missed out on three consecutive job opportunities.
Almost everyone feels some resentment toward his or her former employer. I worked on a big outplacement project at UPS in 1995. These people were paid handsomely to leave the company voluntarily. Even they were mad. It's not a question of whether or not you have it; it's a matter of degree.
To what degree is anger (hurt, fear or frustration) getting in your way?
If you just read this and said, "Anger? For me? Nope, not at all." I want you to think again. When I see anger and mention it to someone, he or she usually gets defensive. Has anyone told you that your anger or attitude was getting in the way of achieving your goal? How did you react?
Here are three steps to address this issue:
1. Admit it. If you were saying "not me" up above, maybe the first step is to admit that you are feeling some hurt, fear or frustration. It's okay if you do. It's normal. It's real. It's painful. I'm not suggesting you deny the wound or ignore the pain and the hurt. What I am saying is that you've got to put the past behind you before you move on.
2. Take it to the cross. Friends, unless you've told me, I don't know where your pain is coming from. I don't know exactly what your wound is, but I do know this: if Christ can forgive those who crucified him, and just as God has forgiven us, we can forgive those who have hurt us. Read the second half of the verse at the beginning of this message again, "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."
3. Get some help. Ask God to put people in your life to win the battle. Use your board of advisors (add a new member if necessary) to help you methodically conquer this demon. Satan loves it when we try to tackle problems ourselves because we are so lousy at it. We end up in downward spiral and soon the ripple effect of unemployment takes effect. If we've gone down far enough, or if the situation is grave enough, it may take professional help and medication to turn the tide.
There are a lot of self-help books out there that may be beneficial. If you go to a bookstore website and search on anger, a ton of them will come up. I tried it and got 464,408 results. Two books that might not be on the "anger" list that I would recommend are Wild at Heart and Captivating. The first is by John Eldredge; the other is by John and his wife Staci. Wild at Heart is about healing the masculine soul; Captivating is about "unveiling the mystery of a woman's soul." I've read the book for men three times (I'm a slow learner) and the one for women once. (Guys, I recommend you read the women's book too; and ladies, you will find the men's book fascinating.)
If you read the whole fourth chapter of Ephesians, take note of verse 26 and 27. "Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold." And down in Ephesians 6:11: "Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes."
We are in the midst of spiritual warfare. Arm yourself for battle. Don't give the devil a foothold.
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I'm happy to report that my friend with the 10 years of anger is doing better. I've bumped into him a few times since the story took place and he's in the process of reinventing himself so he can do something that he really enjoys.
I hope after reading this, you will put the past behind you so you can move forward and toward the abundant life God has in store for you.
See you (Friday mornings)at JobSeekers, where we refuse to give the devil a foothold.
Copyright © 2010 / Dave O'Farrell / All Rights Reserved
3. This Week's Meeting: Winning Networking Appointments
Overcoming Call Reluctance and Other Campaign-Stalling Inertia
By now everyone knows that most salaried jobs (up to 80%) are found through networking. People tell me that they are reluctant to make networking calls -- and they wouldn't know what to say if they did make networking calls. Tomorrow we will address both of these issues. Come and find out how and why.
By the way, last week I challenged you to meet with two or three advisors at the same time to address the #1 issue in your campaign right now. If you haven't done so already, do it today!
Who: All are welcome; the topics are targeted for professionals, managers and executives.
What: JobSeekers is a nondenominational career ministry.
When: Friday mornings from 7:30 to 10:00 am.
Where: First Baptist Church in Peachtree City; 208 Willow Bend Road.
Why: We work with you to find a job, and we walk with you on your journey of faith.
Attire: Business casual.
Agenda: 7:30 coffee / 7:45 welcome and devotional / 8:10 introductions and announcements / 8:45 job search training module / 10:00 adjourn to the Atlanta Bread Company
We look forward to seeing you on Friday!
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